Why Endings & Beginnings Matter
And January isn't a magical month
I’ll start with the ending of one of my favorite books. But I’m not going to tell you which novel it is! (I don’t want to spoil it for you, but if you really want to know, you can DM me! Hint, hint: It’s a children’s chapter book.)
“‘To Quakers, titles are needless. The only title we covet is that of Friend.’ … With trembling fingers, he drew a cord. The flag rose. And there, placed in the stone of the wall, was a memorial tablet. He read the inscription in a clear voice so that it carried to the very outer fringe of the gathering.”
Why have I begun this newsletter with the ending of a chapter book without telling you its title?
Because endings tend to usher in new beginnings, whether you see them coming or not.
We often anticipate new beginnings during phases or seasons of time. Your infant is not a baby anymore when he or she can stand, sit, crawl and feed himself/herself. We anticipate the toddler years or the teenage years, whether with joy or nervousness, but we understand they’re at the helm of a new era, a changing of the guard, so to speak.
However, when something ends unexpectedly, say, a job, a long-held activity we can’t afford anymore, or a relationship, we aren’t so sure there’s a beginning waiting for us, are we?
We get knocked over by the news and that’s all we can see.
The future, murky at best, is shrouded in mystery that blankets our emotional state when something ends “too soon.” We’re sad, angry, even despairing, but hopeful? That’s not an adjective we pair with endings we can’t anticipate.
Endings Are Required
Whether we’ve seen the ending coming for months or we’re pummeled with it like a strong gust of wind on a particularly boring weather day, endings are inevitable. They are required if we want a beginning of anything else.
We can even be experiencing endings in one area of life while new beginnings crop up in other areas. Yes, we can have simultaneous endings and beginnings, but in different places of our lives.
If you want to begin a new novel before you’ve finished the previous one, you technically can. But that ending of the first will always stick with you.
What would happen if…?
Maybe this character could choose this…
I don’t know if I like who he/she becomes since I didn’t get to the ending like I thought I would.
All of these reveal that the ending, though not yet written, is still key to moving forward.
So, endings are important because they allow us to grieve, and the grieving is required for the new beginning to take flight.
January Isn’t Magical
Your inbox is proof that January is a time when every marketer under the sun will try to sell you the same services and products they did in December with one exception: they’re going to put a new spin on it.
January ushers in the time of re-upping, committing again, trying new things, deciding once what you’ll gain in this “new year” and what you’ll lose — on purpose.
But what if I told you January isn’t a magical month? What if your inbox was full of email subject lines that said something like this:
It’s okay to stay where you are.
Or how about this?
You do not need to purchase from us this month; last month was enough.
No, January doesn’t mean your endings have ended and you’re automatically “ready” for new things. You could have lingering questions about the endings in your 2024 life… in January. Even in February.
So, just because everyone around you wants you to usher in something new right now, take heart. It’s okay to finish on your timetable. It is perfectly respectable to begin again in February or March.
What Endings & Beginnings Tell Us in Writing
Whenever your ending comes along, it may be there to tell you something important. Like a novel that doesn’t end where you want it to, your ending may be abrupt, unfamiliar, non-preferred, and yet, it can still serve purpose in your writing.
Draw from the feelings you feel, the surprise or shock of your ending, and write about it.
Whether you journal or write a blog or tell part of your ending in the upcoming article you’ve submitted for publication, be confident that writing about it will help you reflect. And reflection on our endings — in books and in life — helps us get ready to look for new beginnings.
Beginnings are sometimes scarier than endings because we’re facing new challenges, a change or the unknown mystery that asks, “Will this beginning be good for me, for my family, for my career?”
Your endings, and your beginnings, may bring you to the carpet with their leveling; they remind you you’re but a human, as we all are, and you’re not capable of predicting what will come next in this manuscript, this season or this phase.
Guess what?
If your endings & beginnings are fuzzy right now, you’re in good company. Maybe you are new to something — a class, going back to school, a writing community you joined over the holidays — right now, but you just don’t know if you belong there.
Way to be brave and jump in!
If you’re not new right now, maybe looking back at a beginning you’ve had in the past will help you remember what it’s like to be new. So you’ve lived in the same neighborhood for 12 years. What do you think it’s like for that family that just moved in two months ago? It’s not too late to reach out and be a welcoming presence in their new beginning.
Learn More About Beginning…Again
Begin again in different areas of life by setting small intentions to start anew. I’ll go first.
This year, my smallest intentions are just that: small. But they’re encompassing a few areas of life that are ending for me and some that have been opened up to newness. I’ll share more below.
We moved last summer. Are we still new? Oh yeah. So, some of my new intentions will involve getting to know a few neighbors on a deeper level.
My kids are in different spaces this year: one’s in a new school, and the other is leaving a beloved school once May rolls around. You can bet I’ll be trying to find ways for both of them to transition well.
A role I’ve held for the last 7 years ended abruptly last fall, and I’m still figuring out what my new normal looks like. A few other income streams I have are changing, so that will be a duet of endings and beginnings as 2025 rolls on.
So, how do you set an intention to be a place of welcome or have compassion for yourself as you’re ending one thing and starting another?
Join Me & A Friend Live on Instagram - Jan. 24th at 12 p.m. EST
I invite you to join me and a friend, Amanda Wetterston, of OneHundredPeopleProject, for an Instagram Live. We will give you some fresh ideas in our 8-week “Go First” series about approaching old “new” spaces in your life with a new vision. You’ll learn how to …
Get to know someone you’ve been doing life adjacently alongside for a while.
Find connections with people who are in your weekly life, but you may have overlooked.
Figure out a way to make deeper connections with those you already know (yes, even if you’re an introvert and already excel at one or two bestie friendships).
Understand what that “missing feeling” might be linked to and how you can explore your own endings and new beginnings.
We will be LIVE on Instagram Friday, January 24th at 12 p.m. EST, so mark your calendars and add a Google prompt. Can’t wait to see you!