What's Saving My Life Right Now
6 Game-Changers that Are Making Life & Work Workable
Photo by Jacob Kiesow on Unsplash
You didn’t need to know this:
I won’t go into all the details, but between family matters, health and medical issues, moving away from what was familiar to us, getting accustomed to new work routines, and splitting time between two cities, in the last few years we’ve swung from a touch of change, like a petit four, to a significant puzzle of change, like a giant King Cake where you can’t the baby Jesus.
Suffice it to say, we’re angling for a little less change next year… at least until our oldest graduates from high school. Then, a tidal wave of change will begin again.
Looking Back on ‘Those Golden Years’ of 2020-2021
I was catching up with a friend recently and, would you believe we reminisced positively about 2020-2021?!
She and I were in different life seasons then, and our kids connected in a hundred thousand ways during those two years because we were each other’s primary community. We forged friendships, our spouses and kids became friends and life just seemed simpler. (This doesn't negate the hardships of that season, though, and we know many who lost l9ved ones or are still suffering from long-term effects from that time. I definitely don't miss the masks, either.)
But I am a firm believer that positives and negatives run alongside each other at all times, and we have to keep looking for the pluses.
Little did I know life would take a few twists and turns between 2021 & 2025, and I would have even more opportunities to search for the good.
This week, I realized that this year, in particular, has given me pause to consider exactly where we are right now. Not necessarily where we’ve been or where we are going, just the present.
So, in the spirit of Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor, I thought I’d write about what’s saving my life right now.
In life and in writing, you can start out telling one kind of story and find yourselves immersed in something completely “other.” So, it’s good to take stock of where you are and what’s saving your life right now.
6 Game-Changers That Are Saving My Life Right Now
Exit 277 on I-75 through Atlanta:
If you know me IRL, you know I lived between two cities this year: the one we moved from and the one we moved to last summer.
I still work a few days a week in one city, and that’s where most of our family and many good friends still live. Then, there’s the new place, where half our family remains all seven days of the week. They go to school here, work here and they’re getting to know neighbors far more quickly than the other half of us are.
As I’ve taken multiple routes to and from work this year, I’ve also picked up a sad fear of curvy roads and mountainous driving. To be fair, I’ve had a growing dislike for mountainous driving since I led a field trip hiking a mountain in 2021. (The return trip home made me realize me + mountain roads = not compatible.)
So, as I’ve recognized this fear that has caused me some panic attacks and a little less freedom than I’m used to enjoying, it’s forced me to get creative.
Enter exit 277.
This little exit saves me right now because it allows me to jump on I-75 for just a little while and then find my “way out” toward a more traffic-lit route to work. I don’t mind I-75, actually, but what I love about the road off exit 277 is that I get to sit at traffic lights, pay attention to other cars, stop and use the restroom if I need to, grab breakfast if I leave in a rush, fill up the car with gas… all things you can’t do on a highway.
More importantly, the exit helps me travel an entirely different route; it saves me from the shortest, most direct route to work—which just so happens to be a winding section of a two-lane backroad where drivers seldom pay attention to the low speed limit.
Watching Gilmore Girls for a fourth time. With my two teens.
I started watching it with my mom in my mid-20s, and then six years later, after I got married, I watched it again with my new husband. I watched it a third time with my daughter, and now we’re all watching it a fourth time with my son.
Why is it one of those shows you can return to over and over? I have a four-pronged theory.
A. The story is built around characters that remind you of people you know.
B. The story has all the plot pieces you want to remember and keep tabs on from season to season because you’re invested in… A, the characters.
C. As the series unfolds, you root for some characters and despise others. Some just get on your nerves.
And the music and pop culture references don’t hurt.
D. You can teach your kids vocabulary words like “odious” and why the main characters make up new words based on what is going on socially, geopolitically, and in entertainment at the time.
In addition to these, I think we all can relate to the independent, economic and, at times, judgmental angst that the main characters battle from (grow through?) because if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all “been there” in some form or another:
We thought we knew something only to discover later that we didn’t know what we thought we knew.
Or we didn’t understand it.
Dr. Pepper Zero.
I used to be one of those people who drank coffee all day—well, most of the day.
I’d start with a cup in the morning, heat it up four times, and then pour a new one only to be quadruply reheated through the afternoon.
Then, I discovered Dr. Pepper Zero. It has replaced my third reheat in the morning and carried me through afternoons, late-night writing and books I want to finish reading but am too tired (caffeine to the rescue!).
It also makes me feel like I’m drinking dessert at 11 a.m. Love that.
Accountability writers.
I’ve had several accountability writers in the last couple of years, and for me, it works.
I can set alarms, write goals on a Post-It and use timers and social media blockers all day long. None of them beat having a real person on the other side of my screen who is working on his or her own manuscript.
For a year, I met with one person whom I met through SCBWI. We were both working on middle grade novels. While the timing didn’t last much longer than that first year, we still check in with each other to see how the other one is progressing. She kept me accountable to finish my manuscript — no small feat.
Another couple of years were spent in a novel-wrtiing critique group, which was scarier. However, it worked for what I needed at the time. I needed multiple someones from different genres who read my novel in sections, commented on it, asked questions about where the scenes didn’t seem to make sense, and tried to understand a character’s POV even when they hadn’t finished the manuscript. It taught me so much about the craft of reading.
Yes, reading is a craft.
I’ve just signed on to another accountability appointment. We’ll meet weekly to accomplish a singular goal during the time frame.
Whether I am mirroring someone else’s writing time or just checking in to report what I’ve struggled with, these variations of accountability keep me going when it would have been easy to quit. (I highly recommend joining an actual writing group if you can. A few I’ve been a part of besides SCBWI are Redbuds & Hope Writers, but there are so many great ones out there. I find writers to be some of the most generous, kind, helpful people on the planet, which is why what is happening to them through AI training right now, enrages me—but that’s for another Substack post.)
Writing more often.
What??
I know, seems so weird to write that. However, I have found that when I write more often, I don’t stress as much over every word, having to come up with an incredible idea or even thinking too hard about how readers will perceive my POV.
Instead, switching from a once-a-month Substack rhythm to an every-other-week routine has helped me treat writing with a less precious approach.
Writing more often has made the process more fun. (And that’s a game-changer when your income comes from what was once your hobby. I’m getting closer to that hobby outlook again.) This Substack has always been primarily to keep the “hobby” and “fun” in writing, and publishing more often has encouraged me to write more often, which in turn has encouraged my other paid writing for clients. Win-win.
Collaboration has redefined my “why.”
If you’ve been around writing groups for very long, you’ll know the “why” is a huge ask; people want to know why you bother to write.
Why think of new ways to tell old stories, or why share your most vulnerable thoughts in public?
Collaborating with other writers has forced me to dig deep and find another level in my personal why. It has helped me get my eyes off the “my” in “my why.” Instead, it’s given me a reason to simply help someone else tell their best story, promote their writing, and ask their readers to support new work.
Sure, collaborations often expand your readership, but that has been a side benefit.
When I’ve teamed up with other authors, I’ve learned a ton, made new friends and genuinely been reminded of why I love this job/hobby/crazy-with-change lifestyle.
So, it’s your turn!
What’s saving your life right now? Share in the comments.