Go First: 8-Week Challenge

Making deeper connections in real life & writing

When I first met Amanda Wettersten of @OneHundredPeopleProject, I felt like I was meeting an old friend.

On the outset, our lives look a little different, but we’re similarly minded and motivated.

She lives in the middle of Illinois, and I live in the deep South (Georgia). We have different climates and routines. I’m a working mom with teenagers, and I commute a couple of hours a few times each week; she’s a stay-at-home mom with elementary and middle school-aged kids who is in her volunteer era (her words, not mine) and runs a book club.

But we both have a heart for making people feel seen and known. We both know what it’s like to be new & to go first!

So, our friendship online has grown through conversations about what it looks like to make friends as adult women with children who volunteer, work inside and outside the home, make dinner, fold laundry and ferry kids and teens to all the places.

It can be tough!

But we aim to make growing your connections (both wider and deeper) easier with our 8-week Go First challenge.

What Is the Go First Challenge?

Well, it’s just what it sounds like; it involves… going first. It’s hard to grow in our relational connections (or writing development) when we get busy and forget that taking the next step sometimes means going first.

So, every week, we’ll announce on our Instagram feeds and reels, and here in our Substack newsletters what the challenge is. The challenges are very simple things each of us can do to either expand our friendships with people we don’t know well yet or deepen connections with people we’re already in relationship with.

You can sign up by hearting THIS newsletter or liking our reel on Instagram. (Skip to 2 minutes when watching the video; we had some technical difficulties.) This tells us you’re going first WITH US!

Week One: Go First… to Learn Someone’s Name

Our first challenge is to go first by learning someone’s name. Amanda’s going to learn the name of a mom she comes into contact with regularly, and I am going to learn the name of a barista at my local coffee shop.

Simply learning (and ideally, remembering) a person’s name is a great first step to getting to know them a little better.

You may not become besties, but I bet you’ll notice that person the next time you run into him or her at the grocery store, and they’ll notice you.

Why is making a meaningful connection important as a writer?

Your job in writing is to pay attention. Paying attention is to be aware of your surroundings, the way people flit their hair when they’re nervously excited or how a loving mom reaches for her young daughter’s hand while waiting in line.

Noticing these details is what separates a grocery list from a novel. Paying attention to the people around us makes us not just better people but also better writers.

So, how do we start?

First, who do you encounter regularly that you either haven’t learned their name or can’t remember it? Pick them.

Second, try to start by introducing yourself the next time (hopefully this week, if you’re being intentional and following along with our 8-week challenge) you see that person. Is it the barista, the person handling your weekly mail at the P.O. box, or another parent at soccer practice?

Finally, take a tip from a psychological expert to remember their name and use it the next time you see them. That’s it! See where your simple action grows.

Writers, Coaches & Artists I Recommend Following

(They’re experts at paying attention to detail.)

Colleen Oakley (You so want to introduce her to your book club.)

Drawing My Days by Jane Heinrichs (Her sketches are a welcome break from your usual.)

Friends & Fiction (an online community & podcast by writers, for writers — and for readers)

Fictionistas (a fiction community right here on Substack)

An Experienced Coach for the Writing Journey (and former publishing agent)

Ann Kroeker, A Friend & Colleague Who Will Help You Reach Your Writing Goals