I absolutely love this little story about a 12-year-old hill all covered in snow. It’s a must-read on Instagram!
Guess what it reminded me of?
That we never know until we ask.
And our 8-week challenge kicked off last week with one simple ask: a name.
Remember that 1980s TV show Cheers, where “everybody knows your name” and there was always a little friendly banter between the main characters?
Photo by Joss Broward on Unsplash
Well, besides boomboxes, roller rinks and “Cheers,” the 1980s were also a time of wandering around the neighborhood,riding bikes with giant handlebars and not even using them, a slow dawn of seatbelt-wearing, shoulder pads and stirrup leggings (on purpose).
Some of these things should never be repeated.
But the reason “Cheers” was so popular is that it was A) funny, B) heartfelt, and C) everyone knows what it feels like to want to belong somewhere. Sometimes, we have to boldly ask permission when it feels like there’s no room for something in our culture today.
That “something” is the permission to go first in areas where we might not be experts. Our society wants everyone to “hustle” and also “be real” and then “go get ‘em, girl” and “you do you,” but if we’re honest? Nobody really wants to go first at learning someone’s name, introducing ourselves or inviting someone we just kinda know to the party.
This is the impetus of our entire “Go First” 8-week challenge.
Amanda Wettersten of OneHundredPeopleProject and I want to make it “cool again” to be awkwardly brave, to introduce yourself first, or to stumble through compassionate responses to people you barely know. The idea behind this first week was to simply learn a name.
I shared on my Instagram reel about learning a name unexpectedly.
Week two’s challenge was to invite someone to something. To sit with you, to join you on a walk, or just to invite someone to share a little bit about themselves.
My “ask” was unexpected again.
I was out walking one afternoon when I saw a neighbor I’d not yet met. (This is not uncommon since I just moved to a new-build neighborhood a few months ago.)
But she was walking toward me, and I was walking toward her, and I had this clarity moment. I can either walk right past her and keep moving, or I can stop and introduce myself.
So, of course, I stopped and said somewhat weirdly, “Hey, I’m Brooke. I don’t think we’ve met. Do you live on this street?”
We had a short conversation where we exchanged reasons we moved here and our kids’ ages. I learned her name and then walked back home to make a note on my phone. (I picked this up from something Amanda told me a couple of months ago about how she keeps notes on people she meets so she can remember their names. I also am married to a guy in sales, an expert at name recognition. He doesn’t need to write a person’s name down, but it’s a strategy I’ve heard about from his sales buddies.)
You might read this and think, “Huh, is an introduction and invitation?” In a way, it is. You’re inviting your new acquaintances to share something of themselves in one of the most awkward experiences a person can have: a conversation with someone they don’t know.
But, I also invited my other neighbor (whom I know and have invited her to do things before) to walk with me.
It’s nothing major, just a 45-minute walk around the neighborhood or possibly a city park (we haven’t reached a final conclusion yet). However, I hope that the simple act of inviting someone else into something I’m doing anyway helps me get to know her better.
And that’s the point of this 8-week challenge.
Whether you do each week’s challenge activity or not, the real reward isn’t finishing each week’s challenge or finding your new bestie. It’s the reward of paying attention, noticing someone else’s “today” when others might keep walking by.
Imagine the time you unexpectedly received flowers or someone complimented your outfit. Maybe you got a haircut, and a co-worker said it looked good, or a family member praised how you handled a parenting situation.
Photo by Christie Kim on Unsplash
Anything positive we experience, even a smile from the butcher at the grocery store, goes into a memory bank that stores up over time. Maria Shriver reminded us this week on Instagram that we’re all wired to watch for and go after goodness. It is something we crave.
Yet, the 8-week “go first” challenge isn’t to turn you into an extrovert who never feels lonely or shies away from conflict. It is just a way to help us rewrap our minds around the fact that we’re all human and like to feel included.
Who can you include in something you’re already doing this weekend?
** Follows, Recommendations & Writing “Bests” from the Internet **
Renovare: I’ve been subscribing to this newsletter for a few years, and I’ve not once signed up for any classes or conferences outside of the year I enrolled in the book club but didn’t actually read any of the book suggestions. (I still have them, and yes, I still plan to read them!)
The real gem I’ve discovered in this newsletter is the encouragement that flows from Brian Morykon’s writing. He’s their director of communications, and boy, is he in the right role! Check it out here.
Writing & Other Acts of Faith: April’s warm, encouraging newsletter is brand-new to Substack, but she’s not brand-new to writing (or editing). If you are looking for encouragement as a writer to keep going past the point of wishing you’d chosen a more lucrative career (one that doesn’t cause you to lose sleep over a semicolon or a comma), she’s your girl. Take a test drive here.
Looking for inspiration to write fiction? If you’ve never tried fiction or if you are a seasoned fiction writer who just wants a challenge, try Justin Deming’s Along the Hudson, where he shares fun writing prompts that will call you to wordsmith every idea.
Need an inspiring movie? Author Natasha Smith recommends 6 films that honor Black women in history.
I’m currently reading (or listening to) Ann Patchett’s “Tom Lake.” It’s (obviously!) incredible writing (and also, if you can get the audiobook, it is so worth it; it’s read by Meryl Streep).
Little Shoots, Deep Roots: This is a podcast by children’s author Christie Thomas. It’s for families who want to help their kids go deeper into faith rhythms as part of everyday life. Have a listen here.
Looking for a children’s book as a gift? Sourcebooks has some unique titles.
If you need an editor or have been considering hiring a book coach or ghostwriter, I’d love to hear about your project. Just contact me at brooke@turbowordsediting.com or complete the inquiry form on my website. I also have an e-book for sale (under $10 right now!) called “8 Great Revisions” that will give you some self-editing tips.
Need a new song or something? Download “Something!” by Sadie Haynes on Spotify.